Going further together

A month ago my friend Ally and I were running together. We were about 8km in when the dirt road started sloping down, leading us closer to the river. Finally catching our breath, I looked over at Ally and told her I was so, so thankful for our friendship. We’d met ten months earlier, but in those ten months we had done so much.

We had slept under star filled skies, backpacked our way to beautiful views on the island, had hard conversation about feminism, racism, love, bravery, betrayal, loss, displacement, dreams, hopes, the value of choosing the kind of life we want to live. We had driven coast to coast across Canada, traveling thousands of kilometres, slept in the backseat and trunk of a car for a month, hiked high mountains with beautiful views and high mountains with no views. We had been uncomfortable and cold and wet. We tripped and fell and laughed and ate copious amounts of noodles and beans. We snowshoed and tented and completed workout programs, ran her first 10km, ran even further. We saw beauty in every province and we came back home and saw it here, too. And we were just a few hours away from parting ways because she was moving that very afternoon.

So, yeah, I looked over at Ally and told her I couldn’t put into words just how thankful I was for her. Because of her friendship, I knew that I could do hard things. I never would have backpacked on my own or driven across Canada. If I was alone, I wouldn’t have climbed those mountains or ran those kilometres or endured the freezing cold of Saskatoon in the trunk of a car. I wouldn’t have watched the stars for as long or opened up conversations about the challenging, controversial topics of racism or feminism. Because of our friendship, I was better. I was braver. And I knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that I could do hard things. That, after the last 10 months, I was made for it even. But the real thing that our friendship taught me? The real nugget that has come out of it? Sure, I can do hard things. But with Ally, we can do hard things together.

You know where we learned that? Outside. 

It doesn’t take a whole lot of courage to sit in my bedroom alone, read books or watch an entire season on Netflix, but it takes some guts to pack a tent, strap on a backpack and hike over mountains. A Friday night in with some dill pickle chips doesn’t demand much for me. It doesn’t ask that I put myself out there or push my body or test my limits. Sunrise hikes, five weeks of living in a car, summiting mountains when I’m shaking and cold and soaked? That asks something of me. That demands I step outside of who I think I am and step into someone I am becoming. 

Maybe that’s it. Maybe we’re all just in this process of becoming. Maybe we’re all part of an unwritten, unfinished story. Maybe we aren’t the best version of ourselves yet. Maybe we aren’t “there” yet- wherever there is. 

And maybe, maybe we will only ever become who we’re meant to be when we go on the journey together. 

In a society that is so focused on getting ahead, on being the best, so honed in on beating others to get the fame, maybe the real truth is that going alone will never get us there. We are constantly fed this idea that being at the top will make us happy, so we jump into a rat race where the finish line is constantly moved and always just a little out of reach. We spend hours scrolling and scrolling, looking at people and longing for what they have. Then we lock our screens and jump into our lives alone and we wonder why we never get very far. 

Maybe we’re all out here fighting to get to the top and we’re taking paths we were never really meant to take. 

Maybe we can redefine “success”. Maybe we can share burdens and joys with each other. Maybe we can shine a light into the darkness for our friends when they just can’t see it themselves. Maybe we can offer hope for each other on the hard days. Maybe we can strap on some boots and push one another to get to the top of the mountain. Maybe we can hold up mirrors to each other that show our flaws and our strengths and maybe we can lend each other the bravery on this journey of becoming. 

Maybe.

I admit, I’m not very old so I don’t know much yet, but I do know that I’ve gone farther, done better, been better when I’ve surrounded myself with strong men and women who don’t just tell me I can get to the top of the mountain but who walk up the mountain with me. I know that I make more progress on this journey when I do it side by side with people than when I go it alone. 

A friend of mine used to always say,

“If you want to go fast, go alone.

If you want to go far, go together.”

Maybe that’s it. The sum total of what this friendship and the outdoors has taught me over the last year. There’s a whole lot of gold inside of you. There’s a whole, huge, wild amount of skills and abilities in you. Right now. You can discover some of them alone, sure, but you know what? I bet you’ll find out a whole lot more if you have people around helping you uncover them, too.

Maybe it’s time we move the finish line ourselves, time to set different goals. Maybe getting to the top shouldn’t be our aim anymore. Maybe a good and kind life lived with people you love and trust- people who push you and walk up those mountains beside you- is better.

Maybe the first step is making the space to let them in. 

See you out there.

Written by: Annika Phillips

The storytelling series, pt. 1 // nature's way of healing

As a company, we love to show people the great outdoors and offer the opportunity to explore locally. The outdoors, as we know it, is a place to learn and grow, to go on wild adventures, meet new people and push outside of your comfort zone. While it’s great to talk about our side of it, we want to invite others to share their stories; why they go outside, what it has taught them, tall tales from mountaintops and riverbanks. We want to create a space for people to be raw and honest, a spot right here to share and learn. With that being said, we are beginning a series of posts where people will be able to share their own journeys and experiences. We’re kicking it off today with our friend, Jonathan Kanary.

Photo by: Jimmie Pederson

As a young boy, I spent a lot of time outdoors. My parents took us camping every summer, my dad took me fishing and hunting, my cousin and I would explore vast stretches of back-country forest. Throughout adolescence and into adulthood my relationship with the outdoors deteriorated; work, bars, clubs, women, drinking, drugs all became the center of my life.

Like most of my generation I have always struggled with my mental health, and I was never one to find balance in my life. Depression, anxiety, and insecurity lead to a feeling of hopelessness and ultimately full blown crippling addiction which put my life in the toilet. I found myself morally, spiritually and emotionally bankrupt sitting in a jail cell for drug possession. This was my “rock bottom.”

I entered recovery. Started working a twelve step program. For those of you not familiar with this process, very simply you reconcile with your past, learn new coping mechanisms for life, and practice meditation, which in turn, brings you a greater understanding of yourself while developing a relationship with a power greater than you.

I felt drawn to nature when I was still struggling early on in recovery. Escaping to a place where my phone doesn't work, where there was no one to judge me, no one to make awkward eye contact with, no reason to look over my shoulder; that was my only relief from the shame and remorse that consumed me. The more time I spent in nature the more time I wanted to spend there. I grew a passion for foraging and learning about the sustenance nature provides. I found myself attracted to waterfalls more so than mountaintops; back country bushwacking rather than well worn trails. The pink/white noise of leaves rustling in the wind, or the water steadily crashing down the moss covered granite, brings a surreal calmness to my mind. Staying in the now has always been difficult for me. I was always living in remorse, bitterness or guilt from the past or obsessive, fearful and crippled with anxiety of what the future might hold. Many things in nature leave you awestruck; shocked into the present moment with a calmness and serenity unmatched by anything created by mankind. When wandering through a desolate forest, there is no past or future, there is only now, and this is the therapeutic experience many of us crave in our busy lives.

I would share my adventures daily on social media. Friends and strangers alike would reach out and ask to join me. I started guiding individuals and groups, folks from all walks of life. I get a real charge out of teaching them a little history of the place we would visit, having them taste edible foliage and encouraging them to push themselves further than they thought they could to reach our destination. Being able to share and trade skills with others is a communion we share that has no cost, only value. 

I have always found myself to be a lonely person regardless if I was in a room full of people or actually alone. I always felt alone, and still do most of the time. But I am aware that my connection with the world around me is fractured and ungrounded. I feel alone because I feel disconnected. Johan Hari describes the opposite of addiction, as connection. For many of us, this is a connection to community, family, and friends. We forget sometimes, that our connection with nature is paramount in maintaining a balanced life. Reestablishing this relationship with nature helps us put things into perspective. We begin to rediscover the awesome power and beauty all around us. Nature provides a therapy that we are unable to experience in modern society. With our practice of meditation, we can more easily appreciate the fresh air, color, and texture of our environment.

I have found the outdoors community to be very welcoming. Each time I wanted to up the ante, I easily found a group of friends that were willing to take me under their wing and push me toward greater challenges. As I pushed through harder, longer, more isolated treks, I learned that the body can take so much more than the mind would have you think. This mental discipline is something I hold very dear today. We are warriors and often forget that we are capable of remarkable things when we do not let our ego get in the way. 

Push yourself. Don’t give up. Keep going a little further. This is how we triumph in life.

Written by: Jonathan Kanary